party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
