i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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