So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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