we're blogging at a bar
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
