i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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