I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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