You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
