you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
