i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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