Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
