So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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