how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
