her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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