Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
