Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
