Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
