I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
