trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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