my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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