Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
