Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
