wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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