There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
