Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
