she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
