last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
