Need sex. Gaining weight.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
