I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
