just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
