The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
