Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
