We won't sleep together?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
