Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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