You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
