i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize