his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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