69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
