omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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