he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
