Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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