Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
