Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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