Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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