I puked a lego.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
