I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
