Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
