Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
