your room smells of hookers.
And success
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
