Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
