and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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