so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
MIDGETS
????
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
