Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
