that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
