Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
