Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
