i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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