I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what day is it and did you see me today?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
