I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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