I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
