I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
