Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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