My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
