It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
