We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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