There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
