you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my liver is dry heaving
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
