Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
