I hate your face
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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