mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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